So glad to wake up.
Nonetheless, the baby was a boy and I named him Ethan, just like I'd always planned to name my first boy child. First girl child will be Allegra Grace.
I also keep thinking about how much I'd like to be married someday in my late twenties, and I feel odd wanting this. But it makes sense for me, as I like to have a long, steady situation with someone, and I love him in many different yet synergistic ways. One of my problems with the pregnancy dream is that I do NOT want to have any babies until I am really sure that my partner is there and in for the longest possible haul. I figure if I'm going to marry him, I'm pretty sure about keeping him and I like him a lot and ideally he agrees. I wouldn't want to have any children in a situation outside of that. Way too much risk.
Nonetheless, until I am married, I am only committed to enjoying my singledom to the hilt. No regrets down the line, no thank you.
And yet, whenever I see a boy who is really cute, a part of my brain flickers to "what if he's my man?" I hate myself for this, but honestly, you never know. You just never know. Obviously, cute doesn't guarantee that he isn't a crybaby or an asshole or abusive or a metalhead or a conservative. Or even boyfriend material. Or should the opportunity arise, I can see myself suddenly not wanting him permanently, just as a source of good cock as I need it.
But I can't ignore the fact that you never know.